What is wrong with this country? When did our judgment go so horribly awry?
We made “The Walking Dead” a ratings juggernaut, we nominated Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump for president, now this. We deserve whatever Kim Jong Un has planned for us. Via Morning Consult:
Princess Leia at the top? Okay. She’s an unqualified heroine and it’s impossible not to like Carrie Fisher. Even if there’s a sympathy vote here due to her untimely passing, it’s defensible. Chewbacca and R2? I can see that. They’re guileless creatures, half-pet, half-sidekick, on the side of right every time they’re onscreen. Disliking them is like disliking E.T. Yoda? Yoda is Yoda. But Luke “Mary Sue” Skywalker, pimply messiah, over swashbuckling space pirate Han Solo? The guy who went on to star as Indiana Jones versus the guy who went on to star in “Corvette Summer”?
All I can figure is that, at a moment when we’ve put an unpopular alpha male in charge of the nuclear arsenal, we as a people are now overcorrecting by preferring a bland beta to Harrison Ford in his most iconic role. How else to explain why Han Solo doesn’t score 100 percent?
I don’t understand Obi-Wan being knocked back a few points behind Yoda either unless some of the dumber casual Star Wars fans out there couldn’t place him when his name was mentioned. That’s hard to believe given his stature in the original movie but I can sort of vaguely understand mixing up Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and Mace Windu and the other Jedi elders whereas no one forgets who the little green puppet is. Same goes for Jabba the Hutt otherwise inexplicably finishing ahead of a much more badass character in Boba Fett. If you’re a casual fan, you might not remember him immediately by name. Everyone remembers the big Weinstein-esque blob who had Leia chained up in a bikini, though.
As for the dashing Lando Calrissian finishing more than 10 points behind stammering robo-wuss C-3PO, all I can say is: Racism, straight up. Don’t give me any flak about how Lando double-crossed our heroes, either. He came through when it mattered in “Return of the Jedi.” Racism.
Oh, and Jar Jar Binks finishing ahead of Wedge Antilles, minor character though he is, is a crime for which our entire civilization should be punished. And perhaps we will be. The coming inescapable cultural ubiquity of the Porgs feels like God’s judgment on a fallen society.
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